MIA

Hello! I'm still alive. I realize I've been MIA from the blogging world lately. I apologize... Personal stuff. But, I'm back (for now), and thought I would share a few of my favorite finds from the last couple of weeks.

The first is one of those "Why the hell didn't I think of that?!?!" Whatever am I talking about, you ask? Check it out. I mean, seriously? What a genius idea!

And then, there's the Wal-Mart pictures. I love these. I seriously can't get enough of them. So enjoy!

I call a new rule at Wal-mart: If the hole in your jeans is big enough for me to slip my hand inside and sneak a little squeeze, then by golly you best be on guard!  The squeezer, however, retains the right to either squeeze or not to squeeze!   Sarasota, Florida     Unfortunately, the only strap working on this entire outfit is the one holding that hideous hair in place.  Is that former Federal Reserve Chairman Paul Volcker's wife or is that Paul Volcker?  Los Angeles, California

 

Don't laugh!  Its okay, because Bambi's granddaughter borrowed her skirt.  Plus, today is combination Casual Friday and Crazy Hair Day, all rolled in to one.

College Station,  Texas

 

 

 

 

Where exactly does one buy a short pink outfit like this to beef shop in?

Birmingham, Alabama

 

 

 

So, this is either a cross-dressing nautical Popeye enthusiast OR ….... well, fill in anything.

It really doesn't matter, because nothing we say will make any sense.  Who lets these people

out of the house un-championed?

Destin, Florida 

 

 

Those purple shorts are HOT!!!  I saw those same shorts one time on an elephant in a circus in Belarus .  The house shoes make the outfit!

Columbus, Ohio

 

 

 

Whatever happened to No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service?  Is that a turban on his head or a serving of Jiffy-Pop?  Is the girl in the background taking a picture or teaching the guy in the black wife beater T-shirt to play, "Here is the church and here is the steeple.  Open it up and here are the people!"  Is the chick in the green bikini top putting on makeup?  Honey, you should have saved your money and purchased either a T-shirt or a case of Slim Fast.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

 

 

 

Agerton? ...........  Is that you?  What do you expect me to say?  That's exactly what he looks like from the rear.  True, I've never seen Agerton in heels.  Still, if I told you there is a picture where purple hair is the least weird thing going on, would you believed me?  

Mobile, Alabama

 

 

Britney Spears let herself go again.

Slidell, Louisiana

    

 

Is that a THONG Ollie Hopnoddle is wearing??  I can't look again or I'll go blind.

Mountain Brook, Alabama

 

 

No way, Laquanda, absolutely not!  That outfit does not at all make you look like a Hooker.

Midlothian, Virginia

  

It's like a big pink garbage bag filled with creamed corn and door knobs.

Houston, Texas

  

 

This is perfectly understandable.  Elena Kagan was just on her way to the Country Club when she remembered she need some coffee and a couple of yoga videos.  Besides, she thought to herself, I'll just throw on these gray shorts and I'll be smokin’.

Nashville, Tennessee  

I love talking with Freidagurtz Finkelstein, because she always seems so surprised and interested in what I have to say.

Grand Rapids, Michigan

 

 

Holy Golden Illusions of Grandeur, I gotta get me that outfit!!!!

Alpharetta, Georgia

  

 

 

Toss in some cat food and Cooter is the loneliest guy in town!

Fort Payne, Alabama

 

 

Someone else can try to figure out what she's doing, because I have to go wash my eyes out with bleach.

Oxford, Mississippi 

I have infinite admiration for the sheer strength of good quality denim.  Moreover, I will be eternally thankful if Honeysuckle's jeans wait until she reaches the truck to explode.  Seriously, they should consider using denim on the next NASA space shuttle.

Spring, Texas 

 

 

For those times when you need fried okra and chicken strips so bad, that you just can't wait for the bleach to set. 

Montgomery, Alabama

 

I warned Ronnie not to wear that shirt out of the house.  Please, someone go provoke him.  I want to see him whack somebody upside the head with a two 2-liter bottle of Squirt!

Brewton, Alabama

O.M.G.

Creamy jalapeno is about to be right around the corner. I can't believe it! Chuy's - the best Tex-Mex food EVER - is coming to Webster. I saw it today with my own two eyes. Jay and I were out running errands, and were sitting in traffic on I-45 at NASA Rd. 1, and I looked to my right and saw the building with the name on the front. Jay tried to distract me, but I know what I saw. I was dancing in the driver's seat of my car. Yes, it's that exciting. Seriously. If you've never had creamy jalapeno, then, well, then I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry. It's so fabulous I can't even begin to tell you. I only used to get it when I lived in Houston. Then, they opened a location in The Woodlands, so that was my treat when we went up there. To think... Once the Webster location opens, I can pretty much have creamy jalapeno whenever I want. That. Could. Be. Dangerous.

Words I don't like this week

tropics
tropical disturbance
Bonnie
Colin (no offense Robyn!!!)
flooding
rain
high tide
uncertainty

Feel free to add to the list. Have a lovely week.

Happy Birthday America!

This holiday and Thanksgiving are my favorite. I absolutely love Independence Day for what it stands for, and will always stand for. It's a time not only for barbecues, picnics, and fireworks (and in our case, golf cart parades), but a time to thank those who have served our country in the past and continue to serve this great country today. It's an absolutely awesome holiday.

"We hold these truths to be self evident, that all people are created equal, that they are endowed with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among a people, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed."

Happy 4th of July to you and yours. And again, to those military members - past, present, and future - thank you for fighting for our freedoms. I hope you have a safe holiday. Enjoy the fireworks!

God Bless America!

Clear Lake Shores, Texas - "A little slice of paradise"

We love living in this small town. For a variety of reasons. One of them being the term "small town." The other being this weekend. 4th of July weekend. We realized last night that in the (almost) five years we've lived here, we've been around and available for the July 4th activities once.

When we first moved here I worked for the City, so I was always downtown helping to coordinate the Freedom Over Texas event. And we stayed downtown for a couple nights, so we weren't around here. Then the following year we went to our friends house in East Texas. The next we were here, but had a bunch of people over so we didn't partake in the fun activities on the island. And last year we were moving back in after being out of our house thanks the Hurricane Ike.

And man, do I LOVE THIS PLACE! There's a parade on July 4th to help celebrate the birth of our country. Everyone loves a good parade (especially me!), but it's even better when it's a bunch of golf carts led by the police in their golf cart. Then we have a big party at Jarboe Bayou Park for most of the day, complete with hot dogs and all of the good July 4th fare. But what's even better is the camaraderie among islanders - which is evidenced by the HUGE (and I mean HUGE) water war that takes place this weekend.

If you don't know much about the island that we live on, it's about two miles around. There is one main road on and off, and it pretty much splits the island in half - east and west. So, the water war is on - east vs. west. The kids love it (OK, maybe the grown ups love it just as much, if not more), because they get to fire their squirt guns at innocent bystanders. (I'm telling you... if you just happen to be standing in your yard talking to your neighbor, and someone from the opposite side of the island drives by on their golf cart, your hosed... literally. Yes, I am speaking from experience.) The contraptions that some of these people come up with to hold water on their golf carts is amazing. AH-MAZ-ING. But it's so much fun. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else on the planet.

We received a phone call last night from the city (through the automated system), and it was the city administrator and chief of police reminding us of the weekend's activities. He signed off by saying "everyone play nice." Ha! I love that even the chief of police knows what's going on and gets a little jab in.

But, let's not forget what this great holiday is all about. What's even better than living in Clear Lake Shores, Texas, is living in the great country of the United States of America. The home of the free and the brave. The greatest country on this planet. Thank you to all of the men and women who have fought for our freedom, and continue to fight for our freedom. I've said it before, and I'll say it again... y'all are my heroes. It's because of each and every one of you that we get to live the wonderful lives that we do.

So, here's hoping that your "little slice of paradise" wherever you live has just as much fun on a daily basis - and holidays - as ours. Happy 4th of July and Happy Birthday America!

Hurricane Alex

It's kind of ironic that Hurricane Alex decided to strike this week. One year ago on Sunday Jay and I moved back in to our house after rebuilding it due to Hurricane Ike. Watching the Alex coverage on TV the last few days brought back a lot of memories. I didn't cry this time (at least not yet... Sunday isn't here yet), but it did make me think back to our experience going through Ike. All I kept thinking about earlier this week when Alex's path was still a bit uncertain was, "Oh no. Not again." But, we were spared this time. Although we are getting a lot of rain and really high tides (part of the island is under water), and the storm ruined our trip to South Texas, I'm glad it hit South of us. I don't know that I could've handled going through another storm so soon, even though it's been almost two years. Hard to believe, but it doesn't seem like it. Probably because we haven't even been living in our "new" house for a year yet, and not to mention the fact that my parent's house is totally tore up... it's weird how things happen and evoke a variety of feelings.

Anyway, thoughts and prayers to those in Mexico and South Texas who were affected by Alex. I can sympathize and empathize with you, having been through it myself.