Sunday, September 11, 2011

I hate this day

I don't know about you, but I'll never like this day. Ever. I. Hate. This. Day. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. And I don't use the word hate very often, because it is such a strong word. But I can't think of any other word to describe how I feel about today.

This day 10 years ago the worst thing to happen to this country during my lifetime so far happened. We all know what that is. But also, three years ago today, I had to evacuate the home that I had just bought 10 days earlier because Hurricane Ike was bearing down on it. Now I know, compared to the terrorist attacks, that's probably nothing. But to me, at that time, it was a big deal. I had no idea what I was going to come home to whenever I was able to come home. At that point in my life, it was hard to deal with. Three years later, I can almost talk about Hurricane Ike and the whole situation without tearing up. Almost.

Where were you 10 years ago today?
But talk about what happened on this day 10 years ago, I still get goosebumps. Actually, I'm crying a little right now. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I remember watching it unfold early on the Today Show. The first plane hit and I remember just being in shock. I think I thought the same thing that many people thought... something went terribly wrong, but it was an isolated incident. No way we were being attacked. We're the United States of America. That doesn't happen to us. I remember calling my mom at school, and they had no idea what happened. I remember not wanting to come unglued to the TV, but it was already kind of late, and I needed to get to work. I worked at Rice at the time, and was living downtown, so it wasn't that far of a drive. The drive in was a little weird. I just kept thinking, "What in the world just happened?"

I remember getting to the office, putting everything down in my office, saying hi to the boss, and going into our women's soccer coach's office because she had a TV on in there and I wanted to see if there was any new information. Sharon was in there, and I think Patty was, too, but I'm not entirely sure. And then the rest unfolded. We all know what happened after that. The second plane, the Pentagon, Pennsylvania, and the Towers coming down. I will never forget that image. People were jumping out of windows 30, 40, 50 stories high. That's just not an image you forget seeing. Ever.

At that point, it was pretty obvious this was a terrorist attack and I was more in shock, which turned to pissed, and then a feeling of helplessness came over me. My heart was aching, aching, for our country, for these people - we had no idea how many lost their lives. I remember just seeing pure chaos on the ground. I remember that we were allowed to go home if we wanted / needed to, and I did. It was just too much. I didn't know anyone directly affected by the incident, but I'm an American, and asshole Bin Laden had just attacked the very core of what our country stands for, and I was pissed, and I'm not gonna lie... I was a little scared. I went up to The Woodlands the next day and spent the day with my mom in her classroom. I needed to get away from watching the TV (I think I had had it on all day and all night), and I just needed to feel like I was doing something productive and good for someone else, since I couldn't be in New York doing something for them. And Pre-K kids were just what I needed. They kept my mind off of this horrific incident, if just for a few hours.

I've often thought that this day needs to be made a national holiday. But then I think that if we do that, they win. And by no means have they won. We are the United States of America. We are the greatest country in the world. We are the strongest country in the world. And they have not won. They may have caught us at a weak point, but no more. We proved that earlier this year when we got him, and killed him. That's the only silver lining in this whole thing. That bin Laden is dead. I don't wish death on many people, but he is definitely one of them. But we can't let our guard down now. And I don't think we will. We'll always be on guard. Some things will never, ever, be the same because of 9/11, but you know what? If I have to always take my shoes off when I go through security at the airport, so be it. It's for my safety. It's for your safety. It's for our safety. I don't know about you, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. It's our reality now, our new normal.

What will you do on this day?
I will reflect. I will pay tribute. I will thank God for my friends and family. I will pray for the families of those who lost their lives. I will pray for those who were injured or who suffered a disease because of their efforts to help in the days, weeks, and years following 9/11. I will thank law enforcement officials for their service. It's not an easy job, and it's often a thankless job. But these are the people that are keeping me and my property safe. I will thank our first responders. God forbid I ever need them. I will thank those that I know that have served, or currently serve, in the military, to keep us safe, and defend the freedoms that make our country so great. And I will celebrate a local family that has fallen on hard times. One of our neighbors has hit the bottom, so us Islanders are putting our differences aside (and we all know we've had some differences lately), and coming together for a benefit to raise some money to help them out. That's the shining light in this day that I hate. Oh, and I'll watch some football. That might help a lot of people get through this day. After all, football was one of the first major things to occur after 9/11 that resembled some sort of normalcy. Whatever normal was at that point.

I hope you'll remember and never forget.