What's your royal name?

In honor of the big royal wedding today, it's time to get your royal name.

1) Use Lord or Lady

2) Use the first name of one of your grandparents

3) Your surname is your first pet's name double-barreled with the name of the street you grew up on

So here goes... my royal name is: Lady Mary Puddles-Clair Hill 

What's yours?

The Darwins are out!

The Darwins are out!!!!  

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California  would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked..

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company.. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape...

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast... The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for.. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

Happy Easter!

Not sure who is doing Wal-Mart's advertising these days, but it's pretty good. Their Halloween commercial was hilarious, and they've returned with an equally as funny Easter commercial. Hope the Easter Bunny was good to you! Enjoy!

The latest addition

Jay's mom surprised us this week with an addition to our yard (which, in case you're not aware, we are the April Yard of the Month for Clear Lake Shores). It's a fountain, and it's perfect! I love it! Jay and I were sitting out on our patio last night and it was calm and quiet and you could hear the trickle of the water. Very soothing.


Have a great week!!!

Final Four

So as most of you know, I spent the last five days in the bowels of Reliant Stadium working the Final Four. And yes, I had a blast. I didn't get to see much of the games, but I did step out enough to say hi to mom and dad.

Here's me and Patty, my partner in crime. Thanks for helping me out, PB!

Great job by the NCAA and local media team! See you all again in '15 for the regional and '16 for the Final Four!

Yard of the Month!!!!!

FINALLY!!! We got yard of the month! WAHOO!!!!! I secretly made it a goal of mine to get yard of the month on the island, and to win our holiday lighting contest. One down, one to go! I've got about eight months to think about the lights...

The yard of the month sign was delivered earlier this week. Here are some pics, and click here to read the article in the monthly newsletter, The Islander (see pg. 16) . Enjoy!!